my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
