He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
