this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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