You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
