Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
