There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
