I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
