I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
