He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
