i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
