i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
