Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
