So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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