If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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