First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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