Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
