i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
