All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
