i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
