First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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