So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
