Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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