She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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