it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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