Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
