I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
