Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
bring money and cleavage
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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