A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
