we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
