Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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