Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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