hotel room ftw
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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