So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
