Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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