I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize