What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
