Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
