They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
