He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
