did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize