babies were throwing up all over the place
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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