super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
