No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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