She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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