We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
