he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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