I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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