Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
