She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I think your dad took our porno
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
