fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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