Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
