You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
