I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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