so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
