I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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