And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
