There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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