do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
